A Guide to Wedding Invitation Etiquette

Our fast-paced lifestyle has become so dress down and casual that when the time comes for a formal event, like a wedding, we can become overwhelmed at all of the rules. Fortunately, etiquette is based on common sense and good manners, so, while it may seem like there are many commands to follow, they are all pretty logical. A portion of these rules are reserved for both addressing and sending out the wedding invitations. So, what do you need to know before mailing out those invitations?

Addressing the Envelopes

There are many different ways to address the wedding envelopes, depending on whether you want children at the wedding or not, and if the invited guests are permitted to invite their own guests. By addressing the envelopes carefully, you can prevent miscommunication and hurt feelings by letting guests know exactly what to expect.

Once you know how to address the envelopes, you are ready to get started. While the response cards inside the invitation will be addressed by the printer, tradition dictates that the wedding invitations are hand addressed. Some couples choose to hire a calligrapher to address the envelopes for them, while others address the envelopes themselves. No matter if you decide to address the envelopes yourself, or hire someone else, they should be done in a very neat fashion. While calligraphy is a nice touch, neat writing is perfectly acceptable. If you are doing this job yourself, take your time, and start early enough so that you will not feel rushed. Break the job into parts, so that you only have to address a few cards each day. This will make it much easier to keep your envelopes looking nice.

Sending the Invitations

Proper etiquette dictates that you send out invitations early enough so that your guests have time to respond. A wedding invitation which arrives at the last minute can make it appear that you are interested in a gift, not the person’s presence at your wedding. So, how much time is enough? If you are planning a wedding at a busy time of the year, such as the summer or around the holidays, one month is not too early. At other times of the year, at least two weeks’ notice should be adequate.

Registering for Gifts

Registering for gifts is one of the more fun aspects of planning a wedding, but it is easy to go overboard. Everyone expects you to register, so there is no reason to announce it in your invitations. Adding a card that states where you are registered is not necessary. Both couples parents should know, as well as the bridal party. When people receive their invitation, they know who to get in touch with to ask where the couple is registered. Yes, many people do put the names of the stores where they are registered in the invitation, but doing so does not follow the guidelines of traditional wedding invitation etiquette.

When you register, it is important to choose a variety of gifts from a variety of price ranges. While your parents may want to spend a bundle on you, others may have a tight budget, but still want to get you something that you will enjoy. Consider those in all budget levels when signing up for your gift registry.

Thank-you Notes

Once the wedding is over, you may be ready to settle into your married life, but first, make sure to send out thank-you notes. While tradition dictates that you can take up to one year to send thank-you notes, it is best to get them in the mail as quickly as possible. Take the time to write a personal note, thanking the individual for the gift. Although it can be difficult to come up with unique ways to thank the person who sent gifts when you have so many notes to write, it is perfectly acceptable to have a template reply, personalizing it for each gift. An example of this would be:

Dear (person’s name), Thank you so much for the (gift). We were both so excited and plan on using it (where). Best, (couple’s name). This simple template allows you to express personal thanks to each of your guests, without spending a great deal of time trying to come up with the perfect wording for each card.

Despite the fact that etiquette may no longer be common and widespread knowledge, a special occasion such as a wedding dictates that more care should be taken to create a classy and elegant atmosphere. This extends both to the bride and groom and their guests, but it begins with the wedding invitations. Set the tone for your event by following proper wedding invitation etiquette, and your special day will be one which will be remembered as a formal and very fashionable event.

About the Author

Arianna Jordan is a freelance writer who writes about weddings and other family events. Ms. Jordan specializes in writing about specific aspects of a weeding such as the wedding invitations.

Holiday Gift Giving Etiquette Questions

You get her the same thing you would get an acquaintance or a business associate; something nice but impersonal. And keep it under $20.

On the other hand, aren’t you already giving her like $100 an hour?

Correct gift giving etiquette?

I am making Christmas gifts for three of my boyfriend’s sisters. He has a fourth sister who is going to be home for the holidays. Should I also get her something. And she is now married so should it be something for her and her husband? Then if I do that should I get gifts for my boyfriend’s parents? I don’t mind making/buying them all gifts but I don’t know what gifts would be appropriate for each or if I shoud even get them all something?

Are you going to be at their home with all of them when the family gifts are exchanged? If yes, I would have a small gift for everyone.

If you will be there for Christmas Eve dinner (but not there when they open gifts on X-mas morning) then you only need to bring a gift for the host/hostess.

As far as the sisters go, if you are going to make gifts for the three, I would do one for the 4th sister regardless of whether you’ll be there for the family gift exchange or not. It might be perceived as rude to skip her even if you don’t know her personally.

Good luck! It sounds like you have a good dose of the holiday spirit – just don’t make yourself crazy over it. It’s the thought and gesture that’s the important part – not the elaborateness or value of the gift.

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